Trading Places

It appears that the Celtics are about to get their man. Danny Ainge has essentially completed a trade for Minnesota Timberwolves star Kevin Garnett. It only cost the C’s “Big Straight” Al Jefferson, Gerald Green, Ryan Gomes, Sebastion Telfair, Theo Ratliff’s expiring contract, two future first round draft picks, and Tom Brady’s unborn child.

I know the C’s were really trying to cut ties with Telfair in the off season, but this is a little overboard. *rimshot* It seems that Danny Ainge is now following the New York Yankees’ model: spend a ton of money, trade all of your good young talent, win a lot of regular season games, and choke in the playoffs. Right now the Celtics don’t even have enough players on the roster. My sources tell me that Trader Ainge is scouting a YMCA near you as we speak.

Meanwhile, Theo Epstein is afraid to pull the trigger on any deal to improve the Red Sox roster. The Sox desperately need a bat in the lineup. Theo is probably sitting in the corner of his office with the lights off, holding scouting reports of all Sox prospects murmuring, “the precccccciousssss”.

It’s time for Theo to wake up and smell the coffee: no mo Wily Mo, it’s time for him to go. (That sounds like a good protester chant, right up there with the classics like, “Hey, hey, LBJ, how many kids did you kill today?”, which of course refers to Lyndon B. Johnson, not LeBron James. If LeBron were killing kids, Michael Vick would be breathing a sigh of relief.)

Speaking of Vick, do you think he’ll play in the NFL again? I hope that he doesn’t. I think that some team will give him a shot when he’s cleared to play again, though. The NFL is always recycling players and coaches. Why try something new when you can try something new to you?

I originally listed Scott Kazmir as the tough lefty in the post below. I changed it to Randy Johnson at the last minute.

I hate Red Sox off days…